Why no Christmas Cards

This year I am not sending out Christmas Cards.

You would think with all the free time I have with school being on break I would have time to send out cards...... I do have the time. I have chosen not to send out cards this year.

Last year I spent a lot of money printing photo cards and then mailing them out. Don't get me wrong it was fun sending out my first Christmas cards but, between Facebook and not changing much in I year, do you really need another photo of me (and eek my cat in a santa hat?)

But please know, if you think there was even a slim chance you are on my Christmas List please know I did something else instead.

Instead of a Christmas card this year please know a donation was made in all of your names to DOERNBECHER CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. It was made in honor of Ammy Palmer.

Each year Doernbecher Childrens Hospital is blessed by The Wolfs (99.5) Hunt for a cure Radiothon.

I personally have been blessed by Doernbechers a few times. I first learned of Doernbechers in High School when one of the academic clubs would do a fundraiser each year (raising funds at the time for the amazing facility.) The first time I was up and Doernbechers was weekly trips with my first nanny family's youngest child Tucker, but it wasn't until a few years ago in late October that I realized the miracles that happen at Doernbechers.

One of my best friends, Bethany's daughter's life was saved one night. I witnessed so much good happening at this hospital during my almost daily visits that followed the next few weeks during her stay there. For more on Ammy's story please visit Bethany's blog http://justthe2ufus.blogspot.com/

But for those wondering what my card would say please read on:

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY HEALTHY NEW YEAR!

Love, Hilary

Kasey's Story

WHY I WORE PURPLE TODAY:

When we choose to Thrive, not just survive, an amazing thing happens. We start LIVING.

Yesterday a fellow Thespian from High School Kasey posted the following on Facebook:

"I was just brutally attacked in my neighborhood. Cops can't do anything but I can. Please wear purple tomorrow to fight anti-gay bullying."

I laid awake most of the night thinking not just about Kasey but, also about my Father and his partner. What if it had been them? The emotions that came with that made me ache in the deepest part of my body. After awhile I realized I wasn't just aching for the what if, I was aching because it had happened! It had happened to someone I know.

I haven't seen Kasey since 1997 (he graduated a year before me.) My memories of him were that he was "cool," talented (he has since had walk on roles on Bones and other shows) and he was confident. I had no idea the demons torturing him were a lot of the same demons tourtureing me throughout school..... BULLIES.

Kasey's amazing outlook on yesterday's events reminds me that sometimes THRIVING isn't the easiest of the choices to make.

I am proud of him for choosing to not just survive, but thrive.

THIS IS KASEY'S STORY:

there is no artful way to begin this. i'm gonna start out with "just the facts, ma'am" and see where that leads me.
Last night i took a walk down to the corner store to grab some beer and some snacks to bring home. i live in a safe, wonderful neighborhood. i'm a proud resident of west hollywood, ca - known as a safe haven for gays, lesbians, and all walks of humankind to live and reside in peace. as i was headed home from the store, i noticed a blue nissan versa slow down and pull up next to me. the passengers looked at me, then pulled into the driveway obstructing my short path home. the front passenger was completely inebriated (at 7:15 on wednesday - winner!), and started to spill out of the car and began squawking at me and shouting, "where you going with that beer?" i just kept on walking toward home, the vehicle sped off, and i thought nothing more of it.

actually. scratch that. i felt entitlement. a quality i normally abhor. i thought to myself, "this is MY neighborhood. i don't know who the fuck those guys think they are but i've lived here for years and they better fucking get the picture."

so i proceeded on my way, i was actually smiling. a beautiful night. headed home to my friends. i was happy. then i noticed a guy walking towards me on the sidewalk - normal weho looking dude - in a black hoodie and cream plaid shorts. as he approached me i made eye contact, as i often do. he ripped back his hood, screamed something unintelligible, and punched me in the throat. 3 times. so much so that i landed in the middle of traffic on fountain ave. long story short i ended up inexplicable bent over a civilian's car, getting the shit beat out of me by a complete stranger.

he hit my chest, my head, my ear, my cheek, my jaw. and since my arms were full of groceries, they were occupied and i couldn't defend myself. during the assault i kept thinking to myself all these ironic thoughts like , "oh my god. i can't believe this is happening. i'm a fucking HATE CRIME VICTIM?! no fucking way. not my story."

but then i came to and he had run off. gotten about 13 punches in. my groceries peppering fountain ave and my bottle of wine smashed on the hood of some innocent old corolla. "are you alright?" the driver asked. i picked up my groceries on the street. said yes, and that i think i was just assaulted. everyone nodded and sped off to wherever they were headed, and i was left alone. i'm not going to get into the aftermath with the west hollywood police and how they were totally insensitive - cavalier even - and told me there was "nothing they could do", then sped off. i had a fully detailed physical description of the car and the 4 abercrombie-clad frat boys inside. year. make. model. color. full physical description of the assailant. sorry, sir. bigger fish to fry

tonight. the reason i'm writing this is to

A) clear up all details of what happened. let you know i am, in fact, okay and will be fine in just a few. i'm sore. i can't fucking swallow. my body hurts. but i have in no way suffered grave danger.i can't believe the response i've had to this incident. i woke up to over 540 emails and facebook notifications wishing me well, sending me love, keeping me safe. people from all over the world - california, pacific northwest, nyc, the south, germany, - sending positive thoughts and love my way. its been a total game changer, in my book. people i haven't even heard from in 15 years telling me they had me in their thoughts. that they would vow to wear something purple today as a sign of solidarity against violence and bullying. which is reason

B), basically. i wasn't trying to be dramatic in putting this shit on facebook. i'm just.....oh....god you guys. i'm just...... i'm so tired. *tears*. :( .............i'm so tired of all this bullshit about people caring about matters that don't concern them. i live and let live and always hope others can one day do the same. i was bullied as a kid. shit got real - was damn near suicidal. all from the tormenting i got from closed minded classmates. classmates who, ironically, have since requested we totes become facebook friendsies. lol. etc.today, thursday 10/20 is spirit day. a day to establish a socially empathic, unified front to stand up against bullying and violence against gays, lesbians, blacks, chinese, hell.....whomever. to face the same direction together and say, "no. this isn't good enough. people are getting crazy. our kids are killing themselves. fucking STOP."

i'm sobbing as i type this because i got so many pictures today. pictures of my mother and father. pictures of my cousin and of senator patty murray and her entire staff. pictures of my boyfriend and i's gorgeous nieces. pictures of puppy's, teachers, soldiers, retail warriors. pictures of best friends and strangers across the world - all wearing purple. all of them. together. and fuck. if what happened helped incite some type of reaction towards this movement then i would damn near say it was worth it. goodnight.

2 ways to ride a roller coaster

Life is full of ups and downs....

Life, like a rollercoaster there are the steady long climb up, and just as you get a glance from the summit you plunge fast down.... before you know it you are turned upside down and round and round, head banging to the side and craving for more.

One thing is for certain, you first have to decide to get on the rollercoaster. That is a defining moment. A yes or no decision. It's not "oh I think I will put one leg in and one leg on the platform" kind of choice. YOU have to decide to go on the ride.

Getting on the coaster is the easy part for me. As soon as the safety bar is locked that is when I start to question my decision.

I have to remind myself I wanted this and to enjoy the ride.

There are 2 ways to ride a roller coaster:

1: Gripping the safety restraint trying to just survive the ride

2: Hands up screaming with glee

I was reminded of this last week while riding the Manhattan Express in Las Vegas.

How this applies to my life? Now that I got onto the Rollercoaster of going back to school that I want to enjoy the ride..... That this coaster will be full of slow climbs to the top, spirals and sometimes so fast drops but I will ride it with my hands up enjoying the ride and not gripping the bar waiting for it to end.

I'm 3 weeks into this new adventure and instead of focusing on the crazy stresses that came of applying for Financial aide, signing up for classes, fighting with the unemployment department over lost wages not reported, I choose to focus on the blessings of such an amazing adventure.

If I had refused to get on this coaster I'd have missed out on not only some staycation time but an amazing trip to see my friend Kelly Rossi in Las Vegas that ended with watching the sunrise over the strip from the personal suite of one of owners of The Palms.

PS don't forget to smile the whole time for you never know when the coaster's camera is going to flash taking your picture (unless you are my friend Kelly, then she'll alert you to where both cameras are located.)

One big step for man kind

Today I joined the gym....

I'm ready... this time I feel good.... I feel like thriving!

However there are no rules or expectations this time. No "I'm on a diet, no I'm counting calories, no I HAVE to go...." It's all about putting a tool in my hand and hoping I use it.

Simple Woman's Day Book

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW:
Outside my car window are way too many people who don't know how to drive.
I AM THINKING:
That I am enjoying this blog a lot.
I AM THANKFUL:
For friends
FROM THE KITCHEN:
I baked a cake. A 2 layer birthday cake for a dear longtime friend's 30th birthday.... I really didn't get into the baking zone (maybe because it was like midnight when I did it) but I loved decorating it and giving it to him.
I AM WEARING:
No makeup.... I put some on this am but I didn't really touch up any. I feel frumpy today. If only I could make myself get up 5 min earlier then the whole day I'd think differently of myself.
I AM CREATING:
Little Ms. H. and I made a card for a family friend who loves H. but doesn't have kids of his own.... how special it will be to get the card.... (I know)
I AM GOING:
To NYC in 2 weeks and 2 days.... nope I'm not counting down.... :)
I AM READING:
The Sacred Compass with my Friday night bible study.... love this group it's like Oprah book club meets bible study meets YaYa Sisterhood
I AM HOPING:
For nothing to go wrong with my taxes :)
I AM HEARING:
Way too much noise for being a library. What happened to respect and behaving correctly in public?
AROUND THE HOUSE:
Not me... I'm not home much this week..... I'm sure next week I will crave being home
ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS:
Happy Hour.... I never had a job that allowed me off early enough for this and I love it!!!! Some of my favorites lately: Gustovs, Claim Jumpers and McMinnemans
A FEW PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK:
Friday Night I am helping a youthgroup activity (I'm sure non of them will see this so I can post about it.) They are doing a where's waldo type activity at the mall and have to find 12 of us
A PICTURE I'D LIKE TO SHARE:

That's MY nanny!

I never thought LAUNDRY could be so fun!!!

Little Ms. H. told a child at the children's museum "That's MY nanny!"....

Apparently Little Ms. H. wanted the child to understand that even though I was playing with him (we were at the Children's Museum in the dig pit- that's a big pit of rubber gravel like a big big sandbox) that I was infact HER nanny.

I realized today that 6 months ago (exactly) I met this family. Maybe you haven't heard the amazing story that my job hunt was.

I was working at a daycare and that job was going south and fast. I chalk it up to bad management and the simple fact I was too good for the job.

I put my resume on Craigslist and thought to myself there I tried it's not my fault I am stuck at this job. In other words it was my half hearted attempt at job hunting. Usually on CL it takes a few posts and many many many crazy replies from people wanting dirt cheap care etc. to find one family worth interviewing with and we all know how many interviews it can take to find a job especially in this economy.

I recieved an email from a lady who mentioned what they were looking for. (At first glance this family wasn't exactly what I thought I was looking for but I decided to interiew with them the day after I turned 30. Infact I almost skipped out on the interview.)

I figured though I didn't think this would be a match I would use it as a jumpstart back into the job hunt. Sort of a rehersal interview as it had been 3 years since I had to sell myself.

Can you believe that this family and I fit so well. We are a perfect match! I had the fastest job hunt in history.

This family has restored my faith in a good boss, shown me a family can still have breakfast together, and treats me as one of their members (well when I want to be.)

I never would have thought posting ONE craigslist ad would find me 6 months later enjoying 2 adorable babies in a basket and their posessive sister!

That's MY nanny! (You are right Little Ms. H., I am YOUR nanny and I love every minute of it. )

Sick Day

I had a sick day today

An honest real sick day where I stayed in bed and slept (except for a quick run to Jamba Juice)

I was just asking myself how I could make today count? How could I thrive on a day that I was sick in bed?

I realized I spent more time thinking about God Friday than any prior GF

Thank you God for your son and for knocking me on my booty so I can stop and realize what GF means